pot of gold

He's the kind of guy that makes you cry
Thinks his heart is safe in the sand
You wonder if he's blind; so much turmoil inside
You can feel it when you're holding his hand

And he's lost in the dark; he keeps missing his mark
He can't seem to find his way home
He can't light the spark; he's so far from the mark
But no matter how far he may roam

I will still be there

And can you really see in the dark?
You swear the rainbow's an arc
So sure there's a pot of gold
You keep looking everywhere you're told

You think it's cause you're bold
But you're still stuck inside this mold...

You're the kind of guy who looks at the sky
And only sees your possibilities
You're missing the moon, with the sun in your eye
Have you ever spent time on your knees

Taking in their beauty?

You're lost in the dark; you keep missing your mark
Are you sure that you know the way home?
You can't light the spark; you're so far from the mark
But no matter how far you may roam

I will still be there

Can you really see in the dark?
You swear the rainbow's an arc
So sure there's a pot of gold
You keep looking everywhere you're told

You think it's cause you're bold
But you're still stuck inside this mold...

You know we're all so small
No need to build this wall
In the end it's gonna fall
And I'm waiting through it all

Think a maze will keep me out?
I will still be there

Your pot of gold...

Traces of Time

(Yes, another song, jotted down on paper while waiting in line at the gun and knife show on Feb.28 2009, then stuffed in a pocket of mine, and found again).

If I were yours and you were mine
Our love would erase the traces of time
If love were a poem and ours was a line
You and I would create the perfect rhyme

If you were the king, and I the pauper
Would you listen to me for a bowl full of copper?
Could you put a price on my life and my song?
If you turned me away would you know you'd done wrong?
Would you follow me over mountain and sea?
Knowing you could be all you wanted to be.
And to follow your dreams is to live and be free

When I am yours and you are mine
Our love will erase the traces of time
Only one can create a love so divine
Only I can erase the traces of time

And if I am the King, and you the pauper
How much more would I give than a bowl full of copper
I wouldn't put a price on your life and your song
I wouldn't turn me away even though you've done wrong...
I am leading you over mountains and sea.
Knowing you will be all I made you to be
And I have given you dreams, so live and be free.

Forgetting all that lies behind...
I am erasing for you the traces of time.

(*ynthia

The Stroke [pieces]

Today at 12:37am

There's a piece of me missing
And I don't know where it went
Somewhere between the time wasted
And the search of time well spent
If you'd point me in a direction
I could comply and be content
Or I could run around in circles
Til the minute hand is bent

Where is that little chink?
That piece missing from my heart?
Write directions down in ink
While I create a work of art
See this face that I am painting?
It's missing just one stroke
And before I can complete it,
From another face comes smoke

Oh stroke!
My clock has struck its last
Its hands forever in the past
I stare at it in disbelief
Why such a small thing
Should cause me such grief
I don't know
But this sort of thing
Goes to show

Obsessing with time
Can ruin your rhyme
And finding your chink
Is not important, as you think
Maybe it's time to stop holding on
Don't let your hands get stuck in the past
Reaching for pieces and moments long gone
Live in the present, as long as it lasts

So, this is to all you out there, obsessing over life lost... or "pieces missing" before you can go on. I don't care how old (or young) you are:
There are no "shoulda, coulda, woulda's." There is only now and the pieces that come together to make every day a new day and a whole day, and give the chance for every person to be a new person and a whole person. I love you, to pieces; no matter how many pieces you're in. Or, more aptly, I love you with all the pieces of my heart. (*ynthia

All these thoughts

Yesterday at 11:18pm

I can't see around all these thoughts in my head
What's all this inside that's making me feel dead?
Or atleast that my heart is made of hot lead?
So many names and faces inside my head
So many things done, so many things said
I want to get out, squeeze past, scream out loud
I can't breathe, here alone, in this crowd
I'm gasping for air that's really right there
Oh, don't do this now; they're starting to stare
Stop, thia, stop. You're fine. You're at ease
I'm the only one keeping you up. So just please,
Forget all you felt or think that you feel.
I'm making your heart as hard as this steel
No! Don't. I can't take one more breath.
I'm not turning my heart into stone or cold death
It's not a vault to store pain inside
Now let me let go, let go of my pride
I'm broken, don't you see? I don't care anymore
I won't pretend to take this, so let my spirit soar
Let my body fall down, I've broken my crown
If I could drown in tears, then please let me drown
Ofcourse I remember the loves I have born
Ofcourse I remember my heart has been torn
So let it heal. Let it keep its flesh and feel.
I refuse to be as hard as this steel
So cold to the touch, so unbending. I yield.
I yield to all the memories, the pain and heartache.
And remember One once bled and died for my sake.
His heart's been broken more than I could ever bear
And the pain He bore was more than I can share
It's because of Him that I will always care
And feel much more than I would ever dare

(*thia

My name

So, a while back I entered my name "Cynthia" into this website I'm about to quote, and got descriptions of how I, a Cynthia, am, or should be. Not one piece of the info fit me, except maybe the very beginning that said I had an urge to be creative, independent, and self-reliant, or something like that. I do sometimes forget I am not "an island" and shouldn't keep trying to be one. I love that Simon and Garfunkel song... "I am a rock, I am an island... and a rock feels no pain... and an island never cries." I think I can be that safe haven, that solid rock for others, and yet remain untouched. And as much as I sometimes wish it was true, I know it can't be. Alright, none of that has to do with what I'm about to "quote." Here is the summary of me as "Thia" and it seems to fit me much better than my "Cynthia" synopsis, but if you're reading this, I'll let you be the judge.

Your First Name of: Thia
Your full name creates the overall conditions in your life. It is a very important factor. Click here for a description of your first and last names combined.
While the name Thia creates the urge to be creative and original, we point out that it causes procrastination, lack of confidence, and the inability to realize your goals and ambitions.
This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the fluid systems, and tension or accidents to the head.
Your name of Thia gives you the ability to be creative along practical lines of endeavour.
Your ideas can be very original and inventive.
You enjoy being with people in a social environment.
Your personal appearance is important to you, for you desire to make a good impression on others.
Your pleasant manner attracts people to you with their problems and you are capable of offering practical advice, though you may not follow such advice yourself.
This name causes you to be somewhat too concerned with the personalities, problems, and activities of other people.

Never Letting Go

4:00am

My heart feels dead, Lord
Dead without a beat
Make it beat for you Lord
I lay it at your feet

I cannot find the rhythm
I had so long ago
I was so close to you God
I should never have let go

You are the very air I breathe
And I'm gasping without you
I'm sinking under fast Lord
And I don't know what to do

The waves are just too strong
And I'm being pulled beneath
I cannot see the sun
I'm too far underneath

So I'm reaching up my hand
Hoping that you'll meet me here
I can't see you through this storm
But I know that you are near

And I know you calmed the seas
With just the power of your voice
So I'm waiting on my knees
Lord, I have made my choice

I'm not doing this alone
I know you hear my cries
I don't deserve your help
But I'm done with all the lies

Where else can I go?
What else can I do?
Now I see what I knew all along
I don't need anyone but you

I can't do this on my own
And as I take my last breath
I feel Your hand reach down
You save me from this death

You save me from this life
The distractions and deceit
Now I hold Your hand and heart
I remember I'm complete

I'm not ever letting go
When things seem less than black and white
I'll remember You've made me whiter than snow
From as black as the night to the brightest of light
And you care for me more than I could ever know


I wrote this several days ago, and had no idea why... Because only small pieces were from me; I felt as if I was writing it for someone else.
God... I know a lot of people are going through the storms of life and just grasping for a life-line... feeling around for anything to pull them above the waves, or anything to give them a sense of direction. Every thing's so much clearer above the storm. And for once I'm not afraid to be with You, walking on the water... or whatever other crazy things you call me to do. But I don't wanna be the only one, so Lord, help us help You pull people up from beneath the waves. (*ynthia L

Time: wasted in waiting...

"En ce moment ou jamais" / "Now or Never"

Ever feel as if the person you just met
Is a little piece of your divided soul?
Do you wish for the chance to kindle romance
And perhaps someday be made whole?
Do you believe in love at first glance?
You can tell yourself to smile and forget;
Tell yourself, perhaps, that you never met.
But the secret kept will take its toll.
And if you care not for yourself, as it is for me,
Atleast realize the importance of your roll.

Perhaps you were not born to be lonely yet free
And wherever he is is where you need be
You think it prideful to tell him the truth?
But what of not telling? and wasting your youth?
How many lives are wasted in waiting?
Dreams fading and passions abating...

Come now heart, you know it's true
No need denying what you were always meant to do
Oh, is this just a fancy? Convince me if you please
What would you say to him if he was down on his knees?
Would you tell him you're not good enough?
Or that this is just a dream?
You are so sure you know the outcome
But things are never what they seem
What will you do? keep quiet forever?
That's why there's a saying, "It's now or never."

(*thia L

(This was sort of a continued thought from my previous poem... I think most everyone can relate to it, in one way or another... There's no escaping some small taste of unrequited love in this world; how else could God make us realize real, unconditional love is above all others? and His Gift to man... )