Wednesday, July 16, 2008
I found them...my thoughts from the last few nights.
Sometimes I wish I had someone to tell me what to do with my life... Or, that God would just come out and say what He wants me to do. My sister is married and had a kid, my other sister will soon be getting married (well, engaged anyway), and all I can think about is what am I supposed to be doing (that is, after I just think about how blessed I am to have them and how God has answered my every prayer for them). I really don't feel the need for a guy in my life... (I have plenty of guy friends, but you know what I mean). If God wanted to bless me with one, I'd still be happy, very happy, but right now my question is more like... Since I am not sharing my life with anyone soon, what should I do with myself? Should I go to college? And what kind? where? when? what major? Lately all that comes to me is music. But I can't even read a bloody note! Well, I can... one or two. I play most everything by ear. And then I get the feeling I'm also supposed to be involved in other arts... drama, dancing, behind stage work, etc. I've never had the opportunity before, so I think it's too late. You kinda need to grow up with that stuff to be any good with it. I like to say, "It's never too late" but I'm beginning to think the concept doesn't apply to me and my situation right now. But music and almost all forms of art are my only real passions. I've tried to ignore that, but I can't... I'm good with children, so I thought of going into education or... something. But I'd hate to be a teacher... unless it was of some form of art. Lol. Oh, God, I'm hopeless! And it feels like it's from you, this desire welling up inside me... I feel like it's torture though, God; I can't do this! I can't randomly decide I'm going to learn music and theater and... whatever else, especially when I'm not sure it's You. There has to be some way You can show me this is where You're leading me. Meanwhile, I'm still here, waiting and praying. (*me
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If there's one thing I've learned this summer, it's that waiting to find ourselves in the midst of...something isn't always the best option. God hears our prayers and provides opportunities, but we have to be willing to find them, and then take the leap into them. Nearly every crazy thing I've done this summer has required some action on my part to end up in it. And God has provided everything I've needed every step of the way.
And as for your interest in the arts, do not lie to yourself. It is not too late. Paul and Brian, whom you met at Kemp's party, are two of CU's finest actors, and they didn't start until college. I never did stage crew until my third year of college and I took right to it. Growing up in such things has nothing to do with our ability to learn them. God provides.
Here's an opportunity: CU always has a terrible time finding crew for their shows, and this year's season is starting earlier than normal. If you'd like to crew I'll use every connection I've got (the fact that your dad is a CU prof should also help) to get you involved. Just let me know.
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