The Stroke [pieces]

Today at 12:37am

There's a piece of me missing
And I don't know where it went
Somewhere between the time wasted
And the search of time well spent
If you'd point me in a direction
I could comply and be content
Or I could run around in circles
Til the minute hand is bent

Where is that little chink?
That piece missing from my heart?
Write directions down in ink
While I create a work of art
See this face that I am painting?
It's missing just one stroke
And before I can complete it,
From another face comes smoke

Oh stroke!
My clock has struck its last
Its hands forever in the past
I stare at it in disbelief
Why such a small thing
Should cause me such grief
I don't know
But this sort of thing
Goes to show

Obsessing with time
Can ruin your rhyme
And finding your chink
Is not important, as you think
Maybe it's time to stop holding on
Don't let your hands get stuck in the past
Reaching for pieces and moments long gone
Live in the present, as long as it lasts

So, this is to all you out there, obsessing over life lost... or "pieces missing" before you can go on. I don't care how old (or young) you are:
There are no "shoulda, coulda, woulda's." There is only now and the pieces that come together to make every day a new day and a whole day, and give the chance for every person to be a new person and a whole person. I love you, to pieces; no matter how many pieces you're in. Or, more aptly, I love you with all the pieces of my heart. (*ynthia

All these thoughts

Yesterday at 11:18pm

I can't see around all these thoughts in my head
What's all this inside that's making me feel dead?
Or atleast that my heart is made of hot lead?
So many names and faces inside my head
So many things done, so many things said
I want to get out, squeeze past, scream out loud
I can't breathe, here alone, in this crowd
I'm gasping for air that's really right there
Oh, don't do this now; they're starting to stare
Stop, thia, stop. You're fine. You're at ease
I'm the only one keeping you up. So just please,
Forget all you felt or think that you feel.
I'm making your heart as hard as this steel
No! Don't. I can't take one more breath.
I'm not turning my heart into stone or cold death
It's not a vault to store pain inside
Now let me let go, let go of my pride
I'm broken, don't you see? I don't care anymore
I won't pretend to take this, so let my spirit soar
Let my body fall down, I've broken my crown
If I could drown in tears, then please let me drown
Ofcourse I remember the loves I have born
Ofcourse I remember my heart has been torn
So let it heal. Let it keep its flesh and feel.
I refuse to be as hard as this steel
So cold to the touch, so unbending. I yield.
I yield to all the memories, the pain and heartache.
And remember One once bled and died for my sake.
His heart's been broken more than I could ever bear
And the pain He bore was more than I can share
It's because of Him that I will always care
And feel much more than I would ever dare

(*thia

My name

So, a while back I entered my name "Cynthia" into this website I'm about to quote, and got descriptions of how I, a Cynthia, am, or should be. Not one piece of the info fit me, except maybe the very beginning that said I had an urge to be creative, independent, and self-reliant, or something like that. I do sometimes forget I am not "an island" and shouldn't keep trying to be one. I love that Simon and Garfunkel song... "I am a rock, I am an island... and a rock feels no pain... and an island never cries." I think I can be that safe haven, that solid rock for others, and yet remain untouched. And as much as I sometimes wish it was true, I know it can't be. Alright, none of that has to do with what I'm about to "quote." Here is the summary of me as "Thia" and it seems to fit me much better than my "Cynthia" synopsis, but if you're reading this, I'll let you be the judge.

Your First Name of: Thia
Your full name creates the overall conditions in your life. It is a very important factor. Click here for a description of your first and last names combined.
While the name Thia creates the urge to be creative and original, we point out that it causes procrastination, lack of confidence, and the inability to realize your goals and ambitions.
This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the fluid systems, and tension or accidents to the head.
Your name of Thia gives you the ability to be creative along practical lines of endeavour.
Your ideas can be very original and inventive.
You enjoy being with people in a social environment.
Your personal appearance is important to you, for you desire to make a good impression on others.
Your pleasant manner attracts people to you with their problems and you are capable of offering practical advice, though you may not follow such advice yourself.
This name causes you to be somewhat too concerned with the personalities, problems, and activities of other people.

Never Letting Go

4:00am

My heart feels dead, Lord
Dead without a beat
Make it beat for you Lord
I lay it at your feet

I cannot find the rhythm
I had so long ago
I was so close to you God
I should never have let go

You are the very air I breathe
And I'm gasping without you
I'm sinking under fast Lord
And I don't know what to do

The waves are just too strong
And I'm being pulled beneath
I cannot see the sun
I'm too far underneath

So I'm reaching up my hand
Hoping that you'll meet me here
I can't see you through this storm
But I know that you are near

And I know you calmed the seas
With just the power of your voice
So I'm waiting on my knees
Lord, I have made my choice

I'm not doing this alone
I know you hear my cries
I don't deserve your help
But I'm done with all the lies

Where else can I go?
What else can I do?
Now I see what I knew all along
I don't need anyone but you

I can't do this on my own
And as I take my last breath
I feel Your hand reach down
You save me from this death

You save me from this life
The distractions and deceit
Now I hold Your hand and heart
I remember I'm complete

I'm not ever letting go
When things seem less than black and white
I'll remember You've made me whiter than snow
From as black as the night to the brightest of light
And you care for me more than I could ever know


I wrote this several days ago, and had no idea why... Because only small pieces were from me; I felt as if I was writing it for someone else.
God... I know a lot of people are going through the storms of life and just grasping for a life-line... feeling around for anything to pull them above the waves, or anything to give them a sense of direction. Every thing's so much clearer above the storm. And for once I'm not afraid to be with You, walking on the water... or whatever other crazy things you call me to do. But I don't wanna be the only one, so Lord, help us help You pull people up from beneath the waves. (*ynthia L

Time: wasted in waiting...

"En ce moment ou jamais" / "Now or Never"

Ever feel as if the person you just met
Is a little piece of your divided soul?
Do you wish for the chance to kindle romance
And perhaps someday be made whole?
Do you believe in love at first glance?
You can tell yourself to smile and forget;
Tell yourself, perhaps, that you never met.
But the secret kept will take its toll.
And if you care not for yourself, as it is for me,
Atleast realize the importance of your roll.

Perhaps you were not born to be lonely yet free
And wherever he is is where you need be
You think it prideful to tell him the truth?
But what of not telling? and wasting your youth?
How many lives are wasted in waiting?
Dreams fading and passions abating...

Come now heart, you know it's true
No need denying what you were always meant to do
Oh, is this just a fancy? Convince me if you please
What would you say to him if he was down on his knees?
Would you tell him you're not good enough?
Or that this is just a dream?
You are so sure you know the outcome
But things are never what they seem
What will you do? keep quiet forever?
That's why there's a saying, "It's now or never."

(*thia L

(This was sort of a continued thought from my previous poem... I think most everyone can relate to it, in one way or another... There's no escaping some small taste of unrequited love in this world; how else could God make us realize real, unconditional love is above all others? and His Gift to man... )

"I WILL keep dreaming"

To all those who have loved and missed the moment to share their dreams.
(And, in a more cynical tone, to all those bound in the never ending cycle of affection and infatuation):
"No Happy Ending...That's Fair"
(The title is a work in progress, like the writer, sorry).

I hardly know you,
Yet I feel as if I always have.
I remember the day I met you:
In a crowd, with thoughts so loud
You smiled; I shook your hand
And felt my heart expand.
You were beaming like the sun,
As you smiled at everyone.

I didn't think I'd see you again.
I didn't know why I cared.
But now, a few chance-meetings later,
I'm dreaming dreams I've never dared.
For once I see a glimpse of my future-
What I could have, and I'm not scared.
But I know I'm ill-qualified;
I know I'm underprepared.

And now I'm too late.
There's nothing to share.
You've found your love,
And you don't care.
I barely know you
So that's fair.
How could I even dare
To feel the things I've felt,
To pray the things I pray.

God, so help me, give me strength
To dance another day.
I haven't gone through fire and water
To have my heart break again-
To be where I've already been.
But not my will, but yours be done.
You know best...Maybe this isn't the one.

Maybe I'm too afraid to face the truth
When the truth is good and free.
Maybe truth isn't good enough;
Not when I'm not ready to see.
I forsee the pain and heartache,
But, a happy ending? How can that be?
It's something I just don't forsee.
And the one thing I've always known
Is it's not, and never was, about me.

Don't despair... Some of us actually Do care. No, that's not part of the poem; I rhyme all the time, so get used to it. And there is a happy ending to The romance of all romances... So what more could I ask for? Mmh... I will keep dreaming. "I WILL keep dreaming! I will keep dreaming, my friend! And when I wake up you better hope, you better hope you're... asleep!" Lol, just imagine Ben Stiller's face and the quote is that much better. ;-) love you all, (*thia

Alright, alright...

So, since I was mocked for saying one of my dreams was to stay happily single forever (unless the right person came along, which I just doubt) and then saying another dream was to marry Batman, I have a new and improved dream: to marry someone who has the meaning of the "sun" somewhere in their name... If I could choose, I'd choose last name... so when I marry him it will be in mine as well. You have no idea how amazing this would be... to have my first name be in relation to the moon and the last to the sun. Then we could name our children after stars (and other such celestial beings)! (wow, just kidding; unless he likes the idea, though I'd prefer names like River, Phoenix, Bruce ;-) etc). And God is sitting in heaven shaking His head at me, "Why did I give Cynthia such a creative mind? So full of silly ideas; where am I gonna get a guy with the sun in his name who will actually want to marry her?" That's a good question... Eh, don't worry about it. But just incase you're wondering, I'd rather not have a Phoebes or Apollo... so let's have something non-greek this time. Thankyou. (*thia L.

p.s. In all seriousness , I'd atleast like to keep my last name starting with an L. And if I can't have that I'll settle for something with a Y in it somewhere. I can dream, right?

"Dreams" (read previous post)

Sometimes it seems

I'm alone in my dreams

And all my plans & my schemes

Should go on unsaid

Remain dead in my head
For I have no one with which to share

Because who could truly care?

Some dreams are a vague aspiration

Following a speech of hope & inspiration

Or a sudden revelation in God's creation

Then I remember we all have dreams

No matter what I think, no matter how it seems

Still a nagging voice inside my head,

"Don't think on your dreams. Let them stay dead

They're hopeless dreams, pointless dreams

Forget the free future; focus on present facts instead”
But my heart knows my mind is wrong

My spirit will die if suppressed too long

God put these passions in my being

I want to go on searching and go on seeing

His dreams that are written in the sky

His dreams that are written on the hearts of you and I

To give up those dreams is to lay down and die

Yes, this world is fallen

But God has a plan to redeem

Each and everyone’s dream

Our souls dream of perfection

In a world of pure affection

A place of no pain or shame

Where love replaces fear & blame

Where broken trust & heartaches are forgotten

Where we find lasting peace with God's only begotten

And we’re finally awake in the dreams that we dream

Know that the dreams He dreams for us are bigger than any we’ve ever imagined...

I know, it's terribly written; one of my least favorites. Actually, I really hate it, but people have said the idea's inspiring, so there you go... I should try rewriting it someday. Lol, the line "Then I remember we all have dreams" always reminds me of a quote, "We all wear masks... metaphorically speaking." Well, writers must have atleast one or two works of their own that they detest, right? ;-) That's what "they" say, anyway... (*lunis

A blog inspired by another.

I wrote a poem called "Dreams" a few years ago (3 years)... And it, and a blog by my almost-acquaintance, have helped inspire what I'm about to write; a list of my dreams, of things I'd like to do in life. Obviously that list could go on and on, but here are some of the many things I want to do and can't seem to get off my mind lately:

• Get involved in conceptual art and illustrating.
• Help create and design... art, music, concepts, storline, etc.
• To be a part of small (or large) projects... (books, comic books, film, plays, etc; ask me about the Bed Bregade sometime).
• Be in love with my job and the people I work with, so I give 110 % all the time (if I could, I'd choose a small company of sorts, maybe owned by friends or family)
• Help lead a bible study... lead/help lead worship.
• Go to actual dance classes for a little bit (to see if people who said I am
  gifted were telling me the truth, and to learn)
• Learn to actually read music and not just play it by ear
• Learn to play the guitar
• Learn French, all the way; maybe go to France (and once that's done, hopefully learn
  more languages)
  
• Find a person to read books with (or to) aloud... it's something I grew up
  doing with my family and it feels weird to read things alone now.
• Read the bible through, cover to cover, with someone. It's been too long since the last time...
• See people in person more often... go out for coffee, or browse books,
  movies, etc just so we can talk.
• Start carrying more in my wallet... so I don't have to give those homeless
  people or starving musicians I always notice just whatever I have. (last
  time it was an accordian player at an art festival, and I only had 3 or 4 bucks, maybe 5)
• Pick up a hitch-hiker or homeless guy/girl I pass as I feel the Spirit
  leading me to. I've almost done it before, a few different times, but I
  wasn't the driver so it wasn't my choice.
• Play video games instead of read all the stories and watch them being
  played. I think it's too late for me though. I didn't exactly have the
  opportunity growing up in a foreign country.
  
• Go to more conventions and festivals... of art, comic books, gamers, music, etc.
  
• Be able to give away more than money... food, cars, maybe even a house
  someday. You know, if I'm always single I won't really need the money...
  
• Marry Batman (this kind of goes with the above point; this way I'll have
  plenty of money and things to give away). If I can't get Batman, Christian
  Bale will have to do.
  
• Live in the woods again. maybe near a mountain?
  
• Have wooden floors in some part of my house... it'd be nice in the kitchen
  I've always wanted. With the smoke screen (I saw one- japanese paintings and everything- at Valueland), low table, and everything japanese. A bonsai tree would be great but if I can't have that... a cherry tree (outside or inside? not sure).
• Be the friend everyone knows will stick around through all phases of life and will show up at all graduation, wedding, birthday, funeral... events, and will always be around inbetween. (You know, the random person your kids will love because I always show up with some gifts, goodies, or money).
  
• If I'm lucky, settle down in a house I had built, like my uncle and aunt did and my parents were doing... once upon a time
  
• Stay happily single forever, unless God finds someone to love me for all that makes me me and teaches me how to fall in love again; but I'm not looking for it.
  
• Have kids (and if I never marry; adopt; actually I might adopt as well anyway)
  
• Help in orphanages, homeless shelters, any outreach here or overseas. (Maybe open my house up to people who need a place to stay sometimes; we did it in Brazil and my uncle and aunt do it in Florida alot).
• Have my own black and white dogs. One black and one white. I haven't forgotten this dream since I saw a white wolf being walked on the beach in Fortaleza and the man said he'd had a black one once. Take a look at these two pictures... :-)
  http://www.scriptsjoint.com/watermark/samplewatermarkimages/xwm_blackWolf.jpg
  http://www.artofwolves.com/cwc-white-wolf.jpg

A lynx would be fun too. ;-)

• Go back to Anna Maria island in Florida to see the dolphins I watched from the shore as a kid and get a closer look now.

If I think of a few more hopes and dreams, I might add to the list...

I didn't really like my poem "Dreams" but I will share it in my next entry... (*the moon

I found them...my thoughts from the last few nights.

Sometimes I wish I had someone to tell me what to do with my life... Or, that God would just come out and say what He wants me to do. My sister is married and had a kid, my other sister will soon be getting married (well, engaged anyway), and all I can think about is what am I supposed to be doing (that is, after I just think about how blessed I am to have them and how God has answered my every prayer for them). I really don't feel the need for a guy in my life... (I have plenty of guy friends, but you know what I mean). If God wanted to bless me with one, I'd still be happy, very happy, but right now my question is more like... Since I am not sharing my life with anyone soon, what should I do with myself? Should I go to college? And what kind? where? when? what major? Lately all that comes to me is music. But I can't even read a bloody note! Well, I can... one or two. I play most everything by ear. And then I get the feeling I'm also supposed to be involved in other arts... drama, dancing, behind stage work, etc. I've never had the opportunity before, so I think it's too late. You kinda need to grow up with that stuff to be any good with it. I like to say, "It's never too late" but I'm beginning to think the concept doesn't apply to me and my situation right now. But music and almost all forms of art are my only real passions. I've tried to ignore that, but I can't... I'm good with children, so I thought of going into education or... something. But I'd hate to be a teacher... unless it was of some form of art. Lol. Oh, God, I'm hopeless! And it feels like it's from you, this desire welling up inside me... I feel like it's torture though, God; I can't do this! I can't randomly decide I'm going to learn music and theater and... whatever else, especially when I'm not sure it's You. There has to be some way You can show me this is where You're leading me. Meanwhile, I'm still here, waiting and praying. (*me

Didn't get around to writing my thoughts last night, but here are tonight's

Do you know... when you love someone you can't stop thinking and talking of them? (And if that's not the case with the person you're dating or engaged to right now, you've got to ask yourself... what are you doing?) Alright, so I was thinking this today and realizing how true it is... when suddenly a thought hit me. I'd like to think God comes into my mind every second of every day... The truth is it's been about every other minute lately. But my thought was this, God loves me so much more perfectly and completely than I could ever try to love Him, and He must talk about me, you, everyone, constantly; think about us, dream about us, sing about us, etc. And when I say constantly, I mean constantly... the uncharted, endless particles that make up eternity. And no doubt He talks to Himself. (Come on, don't tell me you've never held a conversation with yourself about the person you love... trying to reason it, or any other passion, out; And He has more right to hold conversations with himself since he's 3 persons in one). I can just imagine him... "Do you know what ___ learned today? and I was right there, watching, wanting him to know I'd help him work it out and am proud of him for facing it." "_____ heard me so clear last night... And she wanted to just be done and be with me. And I wanted to just pull her in and tell her I loved her. She felt it. But it's not her time... She's got so much more to do. I'm with her, but she’ll have to wait to be with me." The angels smile as He goes on and on... They've heard so much about the billions of us that they probably can't wait to meet us. Obviously some do meet some of us. But, it's true, isn't it? When you're so excited about someone (or even something), it infects those around you. When someone talks about a loved one, I can't wait to meet them (him or her, grammatically speaking)... If I could, I'd meet every family and best friend, girlfriend, boyfriend, etc, of my every friend/ acquaintance/ almost-acquaintance. I suppose this is why you can find me at random open houses, birthday parties of people I barely know, weddings, and family get-togethers. (But then, I also love to watch, read, eat, listen to... anything anyone is passionately excited about). Sorry, I know this has turned into another one of my confusing, past-midnight rants... I guess my point is, that we need to share more- our loves, our dreams, our desires, passions, disappointments, failures, and on and on- so they can join with others' hopes, loves, (favorite movies), etc. I might be speaking to myself more than anyone, but we can't keep assuming no one really wants to know what we're thinking, what or who we love, what we're passionate about, or even what our simple and honest opinions are. Like, how do you really like your eggs? (Sorry, movie reference...). I'm done. If you read this, I hope you got one single thought's worth out of it. I love you. Yes, you, whoever you are. (*the moon

Another old song/poem

This is Your Time june 11 2007

It's late Friday night
And I turn on the light
I can't sleep
I'm drawn to the balcony
The noises they beckon me
It's been a long week

There's a man walking his dog
No jacket in the middle of the fog
It's an empty street
He looks at the sky
I can hear him sigh
Breathe deep, and weep

"well, is there a God?
How far is that star?
And is heaven where you are?

Oh, give me a sign
Is there any reason or rhyme?
Or are we all out of time?"

There's a girl holding her baby
Is it crying loud? well maybe
The windows shut
She's pretty upset
But she's doing her best
To calm it

I can tell she's ready to shake it
Maybe she just can't take it
But she stops
Cause she remembers her mother did the same
And that's when her sister became... lame
And she sobs

"well, is there a God?
How far is that star?
And is heaven where you are?

Oh, give me a sign
Is there a reason and rhyme?
Or are we all out of time?"

Is there a light at the end of this tunnel I'm in
Give me a glimpse to hold onto
I feel like the world is engulfed in this "sin"
And I need something to run to

Can it be you?

It's never too late to ask the questions
It's never too late to learn from your mistakes
It's never too late to take suggestions
It's never too late to care, for all our sakes

Well, yes, there is a God
Much closer than a star
And heaven isn't that far

Maybe this is His sign
Forgive me the imperfect rhyme
But He wants you to know, this is your time

When

When the fire has purged
When the coals have refined
When the waters have cleansed
I hope that I find
There's a part of me left:
The part of me that is all of You
And I'm living to do what You want me to

(*thia L


Lord, I don't know what I'm doing... or where I'm going, but I pray whatever I do or wherever I go, You will be my focus, my strength, my song, my evening star. May I follow You wherever You lead and honor You in everything I do. (*ynthia

Wandering paths

Once we walked side by side,

Or once I thought we did.

Then, who can say why-

Perhaps was pride,

Of which I'd glady rid-

We grew apart, though not at heart.

But who can say for sure?

Who will admit to never forgetting?

No, let our past be a blur.

If you will not say it,

Then I will not say it.

And we will forever wonder.

Did I truly know you as a child?

When life seemed innocent and wild?

I cannot say my memories endur.

Do yours? Perhaps they do.

But if you will not say it,

Then I will not say it.

And I will forever wonder,

If the love I saw was true;

The love in those eyes so blue.

What is the love of a child?

When one is innocent and wild?

Is it real? Is it something you can still feel?

I cannot say I've tried.

To say I have is to say I remember.

Oh how I hate this pride.

I once thought of you as my brother,

Or, I think atleast I tried.

Did you ever think of me as your sister?

Ever wish I'd never left your side?

We're still friends,

Old acquaintances.

Our paths cross again and again;

Some times I wonder why.

All our faults,

All our differences,

Make the soul in me sigh.

And I stare into your eyes

The color of the seas

Could you, for once, be honest?

To yourself, to me, please?

So tell me now before you go...

If you were to look into my eyes,

The windows to my soul,

Beyond the pretense and all the lies,

What do you behold?

Is there a light, like a flash across the sky,

When we watched the dance of lightning, just you and I?

And the thought that I no longer knew you

Or, perhaps, never had, made me cry.

Do you see the narrow staircase?

Or do you see the starry sky?

We would watch it through the window;

That window seemed a mile high.

Do you think "friends are friends forever"

Everytime we say goodbye?

Probably not. Neither do I.

The one thing I remember

Is my prayers for you.

I was so very constant;

It was all that I could do.

I would stand, up on the rooftop,

See the stars, and think of you.

You showed me I could always do what I set my mind to.

And when I'd say "I can't," you always said I could.

You always saw the best, and for that I meant to thank you.

But I never thought I'd see you again.

You could never stay long where you've already been.

You always did like a new beginning,

Or, walking in circles, like the hands on Big Ben.

So, while the earth keeps on spinning,

And the sun keeps on setting,

Maybe I'll still see you, now and again.

For our wandering paths seem to cross without end.

And you never know what's around the next bend.

(*thia L.

Reflections

I found this today... It was if I wrote it all over again. It's amazing how much we relive pieces of our lives.

I Trust You

You took my sins and bore them all, I trust you
You guide my steps and break my fall, I trust you
I've been let down
I've broke my crown
I've torn my heart, my soul apart
But you give to me a brand new start
I trust you
Through fire you've put me, through pain and heartache
Why do I cry for another's sake?
My heart beats within me with a beat of another
You've given me the grace to feel for my brother
I understand not why
I cry and I cry
'Why this burden?' I might question.
But I don't,
No I won't, 'cause I trust you.

You'd think I'd be used to new beginnings by now. Infact, I seem to never get far before I'm starting all over again. Sometimes I wonder if it's not my own doing. Do I make this happen? Take ever opportunity to start over? Am I afraid to settle in, to stick-with-it? I don't think so... but I say I am. I know words carry so much power, and yet I am constantly saying things like, I don't commit, I'm not a loyal person, I'm confused, I don't know myself, and I can't make decisions. But it's not true. None of it. I don't know why I'd like people to think of me as unattached, indifferent... and perhaps superior/ above-it-all (controlled and logical), going wherever the wind blows me with not a care in the world. The truth is, I don't forget a single soul I meet, I commit but say I don't so no one will know if I fail, I know exactly what I want but argue so much with myself that I can only say 'I'm confused' to the world, and I make decisions but they all amount to nothing. Nothing, because I tell myself they probably will; I can't make decisions, remember? And there's no one but God to tell me otherwise. And He has been. All my life, I've felt Him guiding me through all the pain and heartache, just to show me I can't escape what He made me; I'm a determined creature, too passionate for my own good, too loyal to let go when even I think I ought to, and not at all as pessimistic as I think I am (though, it is so much easier to believe the best for others than for myself). I go into something completely aware of the probability of failure and disappointment and rejection, infact I tell myself I expect it. I'm not hoping for anything, really, but it's all I know. To keep reaching for hope, keep loving, keep giving... I just keep thinking I'll run out of hope and things to give. But I don't, because the river is an endless source. In Christ, we have a constant well of understanding, forgiveness, love, and compassion to draw from. Why don't our friendships or other relationships (family, marriage, etc) last then? Do we at some point just decide to stop giving? Or perhaps we find ourselves being pulled apart, and to give, over so wide a chasm, proves almost impossible. You could always build a bridge... a bridge over troubled water. As my sister would say, "Cry me a river, build me a bridge, and get over it." We think once we've grown apart we can no longer grow together. A bridge can be built just as the foundation of the relationship should be, with time, prayer, constancy, and communication. Sounds like a lot of work, but it's worth it, isn't it, if it's going to last you an eternity? I keep telling myself it is, but then I find myself the only one making that time and being constant, like the morning star... constant and alone on the horizon. And I'm tired. I'm not about to give up though, no matter how many times I have to start over. (*thia

To you, dear reader

I've decided to begin a new blog, more for myself than anything. I don't expect many people to actually read or comment, but I've tired of being so limited in my updates on facebook, xanga, etc. So this site will be mostly for my poetry, thoughts, and random life-stories (you know, the ones that are very interesting to the writer but probably no one else ;-) ). Right. Now I just have to go through all my poetry and start posting some, piece by piece. This should be... interesting. (*the moon